Operation: Gift Wrap
by Boogum
Summary: Sera Masumi was used to being mistaken for a boy. She was not used to being mistaken for Kaitou Kid.


This was written for **Poirot Café's** "Themed Writing Contest #24: Assumptions".

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 **Operation: Gift Wrap**

Darkness.

That was the first thing Sera Masumi noticed. Endless black. The world heaved and swayed. She tried to escape the rocking motion, but her body felt limp and boneless. Her limbs wouldn't respond. Nothing would respond. The situation might have frightened her had she been able to focus, but her thoughts were too scattered and sluggish. Her head throbbed.

 _Because I've been drugged._

The answer pierced through the haze. Now she felt alarmed. Little details were beginning to fall into place. The sound of footsteps, and more than one set. Fabric brushed her face. Not blind then, but blinded—probably with a hood. Her body was pressed against something, but on an awkward angle. Her wrists and ankles were bound together with what felt like rope, judging from the rough texture. The whole scene clicked into place when she realised the thing wrapped around her thighs was an arm. She was being carried like a sack of rice, her body slumped over her captor's shoulder.

Not good.

Masumi forced her breathing to remain steady and tried to think how she had got into this mess. It was like staring at droplets of paint under a harsh glare: blurred, disconnected. There had been a girl. She had approached the girl because—because—

 _Dark brown hair. Blue eyes. The tip of a cigarette glowing in the shadows._

That's right. The girl had looked like Ran. Masumi had gone to say hello, but the girl had claimed she had never met Masumi before, let alone knew a Mouri Ran, and then—

A loose thread tickled Masumi's nose. She quickly held her breath, but it was too late. A sneeze escaped. The footsteps stilled, as did her captor. Someone swore. There was a thump, and then the arm that had been holding her in place suddenly tightened like a vice, even as another arm looped around her. She felt like she was being suffocated by a python.

"The drugs worn off," a voice observed near her. Deep. Male. "Sneaky brats were just pretending to be unconscious."

"Idiots, what are you just standing there for?" This one was also male, though his voice was much rougher, like his throat had been worn with gravel and cigarettes. "The boss will have our heads if we let Kid escape!"

 _Kid?_

Masumi squirmed and tried to break free, but it was a bit hard when she was bound and still dealing with the side effects from whatever drug had been used to knock her out. Something hard was jabbed into her arm. She sucked in a sharp intake of breath, even as the chemicals released through the syringe worked their way into her system. Behind the hood that shrouded her vision, her eyes rolled back into her head.

This time, the world truly went black.

 **oOo**

Someone was humming. It sounded like the tune for "Donguri Korokoro", which was just bizarre.

Masumi groaned and opened her eyes. A stone floor greeted her vision. The hood was gone, though she still felt weak and like every limb, every eyelash, weighed a tonne. Whatever drug had been used on her was definitely effective. It would be a while before she could move freely. Not that she was in a position to do more than sit on the cold floor. Her hands were encased in some kind of metal, glove-like contraption, which had been grafted into the brick wall above her head. No wonder her arms felt numb. Even her legs were completely bound in metal and chains.

"The hell?" she muttered, trying and failing to wriggle her legs so much as an inch.

It was a good thing she wasn't claustrophobic. Unfortunately, the situation wasn't looking good. She had always relied on her Jeet Kune Do to get her out of tricky spots, but right now she couldn't use her legs or her arms. Also, the humming had stopped. Her musically inclined companion knew she was awake.

Masumi raised her head and stared at the man perched on top of the wooden crate. There was something bat-like about his appearance: all hunched shoulders and pinched features, with big ears that stuck out from under the rim of his fedora. He rested his chin on his hand, one leg dangling over the side of the crate and swaying idly. In his left hand he held a pistol, and he tapped the barrel against his thigh in the same rhythm to "Donguri Korokoro". Not far from him, a girl lay slumped on the ground, her wrists and ankles bound with rope. Her face was hidden behind a veil of brown hair, but that didn't matter. Masumi could tell it was the same girl she had approached in Shibuya.

"You're finally awake," the man said, tilting his head to the side with a smile. "Good, I was getting bored."

Masumi narrowed her eyes. "What do you want?"

He made a tutting sound and waved his finger at her. "Don't be coy, Kaitou Kid. You know exactly why you're here."

Masumi choked on her own phlegm. "Excuse me?"

Did this idiot really think she was Kaitou Kid?

The man smiled. "There's no need to look shocked. You as good as declared your identity when you rushed in to save your little girlfriend here. " He nudged the girl with his foot. "I knew that using Nakamori Aoko as a lure would pay off." An arrogant laugh. "But then, of course it did. The great Wasp's plans never fail."

Masumi's gaze darted to the slumped figure. That was Kaitou Kid's girlfriend? That Ran look-alike?

"So, you really were following Aoko."

The girl's voice was soft, though there was an edge of steel hidden beneath the cutesy tone. Aoko shuffled into a sitting position, her movements awkward since her hands had been bound behind her back. She flicked her hair out of her face. The resemblance to Ran was astounding, though perhaps that was just because the girl was glaring at Wasp as if she wanted to smash something into his nose. Ran would have done the same. Heck, Masumi would have happily joined them. This guy deserved a good kick to the nads.

"That's right," Wasp said, "and I'm about to do a lot more as well." He stepped off the crate and crouched next to Aoko, winding a strand of her hair around his finger. "I wonder how Kaitou Kid would feel to watch his girlfriend be touched by another man."

Masumi gritted her teeth. She'd heard enough. "If you dare touch her, you low-life piece of—"

"Oh-ho, listen to that anger," Wasp said with a chuckle. "Quite protective of you, Aoko-chan, isn't he?"

Aoko pursed her lips. "Who said you could use Aoko's name so familiarly?"

"I did." He threw a vicious grin at Masumi. "You see, I always get what I want, and right now that's tormenting this fool of a magician who dared to think he could steal Pandora from us."

Pandora? This was getting more and more complicated. Masumi felt like she was fast losing what little control she had on the situation, and that idiot Wasp still thought that she was Kid.

"Look," Masumi said bluntly. "I'm not Kaitou Kid. I'm a high school detective. My name is Se—"

"Blah, blah, blah." Wasp waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "I'm not going to fall for your lies. Besides, I have to entertain myself somehow until Snake gets here. What better way than to—" he paused, frowning at Aoko's chest. "It's a shame you're not more endowed. Real high school girls just aren't built like they are in the anime."

Aoko scowled. "No one said you were allowed to judge, you dirty old creep. Besides, there's still time for Aoko's boobs to grow!"

"You tell 'em," Masumi said with a nod, also a passionate advocate for the Late Bloomer's Society. Her own bust had yet to fill out, but she had high hopes.

Wasp shrugged off the matter. "Whatever. This will still piss off that magician, so—" He wrenched open Aoko's blouse. And then paused. "Eh?"

Aoko grinned. "You wondered how Kaitou Kid would feel if you forced yourself on me?" She leaned forward so that her fake breasts were exposed even more, and her voice deepened into the smooth but decidedly masculine tones of Kid. "Why, I believe he'd be touched."

Quick as a flash, Kid kicked out with his bound feet and hit Wasp in the chin. There was a thud as Wasp hit the ground, a flutter of rope, and then Kid was standing unbound and holding the pistol to Wasp's head. What was more surprising was that Wasp was the one now trussed up with rope. The switch had happened so fast that Masumi had barely been able to keep up, even with all her Jeet Kune Do and well-trained eyes. Like it or not, she knew that the only reason she had landed a hit so easily on Kid the last time was because he had been distracted by Conan and had not been prepared for her. An aware Kid was much more dangerous.

"You really are an idiot," Kid observed, staring coolly at Wasp. "If you'd bothered to check your prisoners more thoroughly, you might have had a chance. Lucky for me, you only went by appearances and just assumed the one who looked like a boy had to be Kaitou Kid."

Masumi scowled. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounded like," Kid responded. He cast her a half-amused, half-exasperated glance. "Do you even try to look like a girl? Not that I'm complaining, since it worked in my favour this time, but still. It says a lot when, even if you're not using the Men's Restroom, people mistake you for a boy."

Her eyes narrowed. If only her legs and arms were free. She'd show that clothes-stealing magician.

"Kid!" Wasp growled. "You little—"

"Now, now, Wasp-san," Kid began, waggling his finger in a tutting manner. He paused and tilted his head to side, looking the Syndicate agent up and down. "You know, I'm confused about your codename. 'Bat-san' seems to fit you so much better."

Masumi repressed a snort. So, Kid had picked up on Wasp's bat-like appearance as well.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Wasp snapped. "And if you think you're going to get away with this, you're mistaken. There's no way the Syndicate will let you escape."

"But you already did," Kid said softly. "You were even nice enough not to drug me again after the first dose wore off. I suppose you thought a girl like Nakamori Aoko wouldn't be much of a threat." His teeth flashed in a grin. "Just goes to show you shouldn't underestimate females, or Kaitou Kid."

With that, Kid slipped something out from his sleeve and jabbed it into Wasp's neck.

"Wait, that's my dru—" Wasp began, but then his voice slurred and his eyes rolled up into his head. He slumped to the ground and lay there fast asleep.

Kid tossed the empty syringe on the ground. "Sweet dreams, Wasp-san. Enjoy the sting of your own venom."

Masumi inhaled a small breath. Kid was not joking when he said people should not underestimate him. She hadn't even seen him steal the drug from Wasp; his hands moved too fast. Not that this was the time to be impressed.

She cleared her throat. "Uh, little help here?"

Kid stared at the metal contraption that was keeping Masumi chained in place. "Now that could be a problem. Wasp-san doesn't seem to have any keys on him aside from the one to the door."

"You mean I'm stuck like this?"

"I never said that."

Masumi waited for him to explain, but Kid had clearly said all he wanted. Instead, he put the pistol's safety catch on and tucked the gun into the waistband of his skirt. With his hands now free, he walked over to her and began examining the metal gloves grafted to the wall, along with the bands and chains keeping her legs held down. It was kind of bizarre having the infamous thief that close—especially since he was still dressed up as the Aoko girl. Long brown hair, cute face, flouncy skirt and girly, over-the-knee socks. If it wasn't for the half-unbuttoned blouse exposing the fake breasts inserted into his bra, she would have never guessed that he wasn't female.

Speaking of which, his attire did make her wonder …

"So," Masumi said testily, "did you knock out that girl and steal her clothes as well?"

Kid rolled his eyes. "Are you still going on about what happened at the Blush Mermaid heist?"

"You undressed me while I was unconscious!"

"I thought you were a guy!"

Masumi raised her eyebrow. "You're telling me that you didn't notice I was a girl when you were pulling my clothes off?"

"It was dark. Plus, it's not like you have—"

There was an awkward pause where he glanced towards her chest. His silence said enough: because her breasts were pretty much non-existent.

"I'll have you know my mum's breasts are huge," Masumi told him, chin raised with pride. "Mine are bound to fill out eventually."

"I suppose everyone has at least one unattainable dream," Kid muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

She stared at him in suspicion, but he was too busy fiddling with something on the contraption holding her hands trapped.

"Any luck?" she asked.

"Gimme a sec."

He removed what looked like a miniature set of lock picks from the lacy folds decorating the bridge of his bra. Well, no one could say that he wasn't innovative. Kid worked with swift efficiency, not hesitating in which picks to use or how to angle and turn the tips into the locks. Sure enough, the metal, glove-like contraption came apart in a clank of metal. Masumi lowered her arms and began massaging her wrists, trying to encourage her blood circulation to flow normally again.

"Ah, that feels so much better," Masumi sighed with relief.

Kid crouched in front of her. "Now for the legs." He paused and his gaze flickered to her a bit warily. "You'd better not kick me again."

"I won't kick you," she assured him.

Much as Masumi was annoyed that Kaitou Kid had knocked her out and stolen her clothes—not to mention her identity—during the Blush Mermaid heist, he was making an effort to help her now. The code of honour dictated she at least refrain from attacking him until the scales were even again.

"Geez, the locks on this thing are insane," Kid said under his breath. "What did they even think I was going to do with my legs?"

"I'm pretty sure the point was just to stop you from moving. You know, because I can't move."

He spared her a brief glance, but continued picking at the locks on the metal bands and chains. She wondered what he would have done had the Syndicate not mixed up their identities or if she had not been there when he had been captured. When she asked him as much, Kid let out a small snort.

"If you had not been there, Detective-chan, I would not have got captured."

Masumi snorted right back at him. "You walked into that trap."

He paused in his lock picking and gave her a flat stare. "I'm disguised as their bait. Do you really think I wasn't aware that those men were after me?"

"Then why didn't you do anything?"

"Because you distracted me," he retorted. "Coming up to me all 'Ran-chan this' and 'Ran-chan that' and refusing to leave me alone, even though I told you I wasn't your friend."

"You can't blame me," Masumi said with a shrug. "You—I mean, that Nakamori girl does look like Ran-chan. And you got all weird when I approached."

"Gee, I wonder why. Can't be because you almost broke my nose the last time we met."

"Then you shouldn't steal people's clothes and lock them up in toilets."

Kid made a show of raising his hands in exasperation. "I'm sorry, alright. How many times do I have to say it? If I had known you were a girl, I wouldn't have touched you. Next time make it easier for everyone and wear a skirt."

Her response was to hit him upside the head. Kid stumbled back from the impact, though he regained his balance quickly enough.

"The hell?" he exclaimed, and then pointed the lock pick at her accusingly. "You said you wouldn't hit me!"

Masumi smiled, flashing her uneven tooth. "I said I wouldn't _kick_ you," she reminded him. "And that was before you tried to tell me how to dress."

Kid muttered under his breath, though all she picked up was "worse than Aoko" and something about flat-chested tomboys. She got her fist ready again, but Kid rolled away from her in a quick, fluid motion. Damn it if she wasn't curious to know what, if any, kind of martial art style he used. It was obvious he had been trained in something.

"You're pretty quick," Masumi observed.

Kid just scowled at her. "What is it with you violent detectives? I swear you're all attack and no talk these days." He paused. "Well, except Hakuba. His only weapon is his overblown sense of superiority."

She made a show of thinking about the matter, complete with placing her finger to her cheek. "Hrm, I don't know. Maybe it was something you said."

"Real cute."

Masumi just grinned. Despite the fact that her situation sucked, at least she could take some pleasure in rubbing Kaitou Kid the wrong way. Not that he allowed himself to show his irritation for long. Instead, he just sighed.

"Look," he said, "do you want to get out of this magician trap or what?"

"Obviously."

"Good. Then stop talking and let me focus." He pointed the lock pick at her. "And if you try to hit me again, I swear I'll leave you here with Bat Face."

Masumi raised her hands in a sign of surrender. "No hitting. Got it."

Kid eyed her warily, but then he moved back to crouch in front of her and started working on the rest of the locks. True to her word, she didn't antagonise him further and instead watched his deft hands do their magic. There was a series of clicks as lock after lock came apart, and then he was pulling the chains and metal bands away. Her legs were free.

"Thanks," she said, bending and moving her legs to get the feeling back into them.

"Are you alright to stand?" Kid asked. "You got hit with a second dose of the drug, right?"

The concern in his voice was obvious, and it took her by surprise. So, the thief could be thoughtful when he wanted.

"I'll be alright," Masumi said, shrugging off his assistance.

She still felt a bit sluggish and lightheaded, but at least it no longer felt like she was carrying invisible ten kilogram weights all over her body. She would have never been able to land a hit on Kid, however distracted he had been, had her movement and speed still been hindered to such a degree.

Kid stood to his full height and frowned down at his blouse; half the buttons had been ripped off thanks to Wasp's rough handling. The gaping cloth was hardly going to win any modesty points, but then Kid was a guy. It wasn't like he had anything to cover. Well, aside from fake boobs and a potentially stolen bra.

"Problem?" Masumi asked, also getting to her feet. Her legs felt a bit wobbly and half-asleep, but she managed to maintain her balance.

Kid didn't respond. He walked in a circle around Wasp, taking in what she assumed was the man's build and attire. "It'll have to do," he said, and then glanced at Masumi. "Can I trust you to have my back for a second? I'm going to untie Bat Face here, and I'd rather not get any nasty surprises just in case he wakes up."

Masumi blinked. "I suppose, but what are you—"

Kid didn't wait for her to finish; he just _moved._ Masumi could only gape. His hands were everywhere: unravelling rope and tugging off and on clothes as if there was no such thing as zips and buttons. Without the cloud of smoke that usually accompanied his sleight of hand, all she could see was an open blur of movement that spoke of years of practice. The end result was that "Nakamori Aoko" disappeared and in her place stood a man wearing a black trench coat and a fedora. His shoulders were hunched slightly, and he tapped his gun against his thigh in the rhythm to "Donguri Korokoro". Stance and presence was perfect, except—

"The ears," Masumi noted. "Yours don't stick out. And your features are wrong."

He had pulled the fedora forward as much as possible, casting a shadow over the top half of his face. Too bad for him that Wasp had been such an ugly, pinched-faced guy. Kid's jaw and mouth was much more pleasant to look upon: all well-defined lines and youthful smoothness. In fact, from what she could make out under the rim of the fedora, the phantom thief was quite the attractive male.

"I'm aware that it's not perfect," Kid said, spreading his hands in a silent _shikata ga nai_. "I don't have the tools on hand to make a new mask or false ears, but it should at least fool people for a second." He shrugged. "A second is all I need."

Masumi was about to respond when she spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. She lunged and brought her foot down on the real Wasp's face in a vicious kick. Blood spurted as his nose broke, but Masumi wasn't done yet. Still in motion, she yanked him to the ground with her and twisted so that he was trapped in a body lock: one of her knees forced his face against the concrete while she wrenched his arm back. Wasp managed a groan and a few swear words, but was otherwise immobilised.

"Oh, nice going," Kid complimented. "Though I think you might have overdone it a little. I'm sure he's still feeling the effects of the drug."

"You were the one who said not to let any nasty surprises happen!" Masumi snapped.

Kid scratched his chin. "That was when I was changing."

Masumi bit back a curse of her own and released Wasp. "Fine. You deal with him then."

Kid did, taking advantage of the man's dazed state to tie him back up with the rope. Duct tape was then plastered over Wasp's mouth, effectively gagging the Syndicate member. Masumi wasn't sure where Kid had been hiding the tape, but since he'd managed to hide lock picks in his bra, she chose not to dwell on the matter too much.

"Right," she said, once Kid had finished with Wasp. "What now? I'm assuming you have a plan, Mr Escape Artist."

"It's a work in progress," Kid admitted. "I can get us out of here easily enough, but I'd like to gift wrap these guys as presents for the police first before I retire for the night." He flashed her a smile. "What do you say, Detective-chan? You up for it?"

"You mean get payback on the guys who captured me, drugged me, and chained me up in this prison with you?" Her lips twitched into an answering grin. "Heck yeah!"

Kid's smile widened a fraction, but he simply nodded and then moved to open the door. Masumi was content to follow until she spotted the pile of feminine clothes and wig that had been discarded on the floor.

"You're not going to return the clothes you stole to that Nakamori girl?" she questioned.

Kid huffed as he hurried her out of the room with him. "I didn't steal Aoko's clothes. I don't undress females."

Masumi cleared her throat.

"Alright, I don't undress females who don't dress like men or use the Men's Restroom," he amended, closing the door behind them and locking it. "If you really want to know, it's the girls who take their clothes off for me when I'm in need of a female disguise."

Masumi found herself choking on her own phlegm again. "W-what?" she stuttered, even as heat flooded her cheeks.

Kid paused, looking a bit pink himself. "That came out wrong." He shook his head. "Anyway, those aren't even Aoko's clothes. I bought them specifically for this mission."

"Mission?"

He pocketed the key and stared at her with an unreadable expression. "You heard Wasp, didn't you? They were following Aoko in the hopes that they could use her as bait to capture me. I wasn't about to put her in danger, so I took her place." He shrugged. "I had a trap all set up for them, but you ruined that when you turned up."

Masumi chose to ignore his little dig at her for spoiling his plans. Kid was annoying—more than annoying, in fact—but she was beginning to see that there was more to him than just tricks and thievery. He was protective of this Aoko girl, to the point where he had risked his own life to keep her safe. The fact that he was also taking the time to round up the Syndicate members for the police instead of escaping also said a lot about his priorities. Yes, Kaitou Kid was a criminal who stole jewels, but there was so something much bigger going on here. Masumi could sense it.

She folded her arms across her chest. "Alright, you've won me over. Now are we going to stand here talking all night or are we going to get started on Operation: Gift Wrap?"

Kid's trademark grin came into play. "Detective-chan, I think you and I are going to make a great team."

Masumi wasn't sure what surprised her more: the fact that Kid ended up being right or that she actually enjoyed fighting alongside the thief. Operation: Gift Wrap was completed without a hitch. Between her Jeet Kune Do and his skill with imitating people and projectile weapons, the Syndicate members who had been present at the warehouse were all rounded up with duct tape and rope. Kid seemed annoyed that a man named Snake hadn't been there as well, but he got over it when she pointed out they had still snagged eleven people. A call to Divisions One and Two of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police did the rest.

Unfortunately, Kid ditched her on his glider before she could get any real answers about the Syndicate, the mysterious Pandora, and the girl named Nakamori Aoko, but that was okay. Masumi was a detective, and her interest had been piqued. She'd uncover the truth somehow. No way was she going to let this be the last time she saw the thief. Not by a long shot.

"I'll be seeing you, Kaitou Kid," Masumi said, watching the white-clad figure fade into the night. "That's a promise."

And if Kid was bothered by the fact that he had managed to pick up yet another detective to add to his collection, he did not show it.

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1) "Donguri Korokoro" is a Japanese children's song about an acorn. Look it up on youtube if you want to listen. Just don't blame me if it gets stuck in your head.

2) "Shikata ga nai" [仕方がない] is a Japanese saying for "it can't be helped".


End file.
